I want to wander from city to city
Brainwashed, Ignorants, Blindfolded I pity
Forgetting the world, I want to lose my house key
Oh yes I wish to become a Hippie
In the morning get up from someone else's bed
With marijuana inside fears of mine I will shed
Nights will pass away boozing and breaking free
If someday I become a Hippie
I doodle my car, grow my beard
Anywhere anytime I can go or disappear
Stoned me and my dog will play frisbee
Once I become a Hippie
With Variegated clothes and my guitar
I want to become my life's rockstar
On seeing me people will get on their knees
If I ever become a Hippie
About Me
The Equation of my Love
My first novel (Sold out in a month)
39 comments:
hehe :) nice poem :) or shd i say nice imagination . even i feel the same .. being a hippie :)but u knw it is not meant for social mortals like us :) it is a dream ... u shd not forget dat the primary condition for being a hippie is .. u shd have a big one :)
there u go..got only one aspect of Hippie culture. I dnt kno about u but I think I can be one if selection process happened :)
nice one mate ... looking at ur habits in Houston, u r going on the right track ... hehe
nice blog .. As usual u rock :) ..
Brainwashed, Ignorants, Blindfolded I pity
Forgetting the world, I want to lose my house key
Awesome like always ! ;)
sounds somethn right out of "into the wild"....hope u wrote ths keepin d end in mind..
"...He took a state road map but no compass. He died... and his decomposed body was found in early September by moose hunters."!!
bt ya...NICE poem!
well if the end doesnt come too early then no problem perishing that way because as Orochimaru said Every living comes into existence to perish ;)
And if it does then wtf cannt do anything. Point is can you detach yourself from the worldly shackles and let urself do wot u want to do.Thts Hippiemania
wild poem wonder what u doing in houston lolz
I like the imagination you have poured into it. There is a nice rhythm in the poem.
QUESTION: Are you/ do you wanna be, one?
i m in the process ;)
i love not man the less but nature more.....
r u in love with a hippie kind of life or u r sick and tired of ur current one??
wats da difference between soul and spirit? is dere ny? of crs i hav my answers for dis qsn but i want to knw it from u as u seem to define da things better.... lookin for some rite up on " sins" secret ones....
Lolz...thanks for your opinions. Write up on "Sins"? Wot exactly about them? Make it more specific and I can attempt one
hmm... let me try to describe "secrete sin" :P
well nt neccessarily unethical sorts but u knw it happns sometyms u hav done or thot abt somthng which is nt supposed to b "social" ethical " or may b "moral"... to giv u n xample... hanging out wid a gal/guy whom i/u dont like dat much :) nd doin it just for da sake of it....
not giving best attemp in job/studies....
nd few more....
i hope u got it now....
da things i mentioned r lighter stuff it can go way beyond den dat....
i heard dis word in a movie"million dollar curry" a hinglish movie... watch it wen u hav tym ...
thnx
http://juudge.blogspot.com/2008/03/i-sinned.html
http://juudge.blogspot.com/2008/03/crucifixion.html
Something like any of the two you meant Miss Anonymous. Since writing/poetry is like a migraine attack (jus kidding), do check the next post irrespective of the topic it is upon [:P].
prejudice ?
how can u say "miss anonymous"?? :O :P
nd btw
i never knew dat "migraine attack" can also be gud in some way...
i cant say dat i wish u hav more of dese attacks so dat u can write.. :P but offcrs i wont mind readin a write up .. provided u promise something different :) ....
"hanging out wid a gal/guy whom i/u dont like dat much :) nd doin it "
Didnt u wrote it the comment above my last one. I went by the term taught in class Ix mathematics respectively :P
:P
just kiddin... figure of speech u knw... nd offcrs dere is a femenism in language also.... nd dere r som oder things as well... like reading ur thots.. which a female can truly appreciate.. :)
is dat all in Ur BUCKET LIST?? :P
imaginativ...... looks like baby nd u share lot of common dreams as well :P
just kiddin but by da way da variation in da stuff is gud... nice work i must say... keep trying new things.. :)
Hi Again,
No home,no money and worries a mile away
Being just me..come what may
Making my own rules,treading a new path,living in my own world
Guess i am already a hippie :))
U write fantastically..Impressive.
Thank you Mr or Miss anon for giving wot i write a read.
Appreciate it
city
pity
key
Hippie
bed
shed
free
Hippie
beard
disappear
frisbee
Hippie
guitar
rockstar
knees
Hippie
Just for my confirmation, these are the last words of your poem. From what i could make out you were trying to rhyme?
Here is what I have to say
1.) Poetry is not all about rhyming...
2.)If you still wanna write poems which rhyme do not use pairs like frisbee and hippie
3.)Before you think about writing another 'masterpiece', please go through the highway man, rhyme of the ancient mariner and if not read up on different styles on poetry like sonnets,ballads and learn about iambic pentameter etc.
4.)Your poetry is a very very bad attempt at Burlesque style of poetry. Please read up more on that and try to refine it.
P.S : Nothing personal, its just that I enjoy genuinely good writing and judging by the comments you are under the misconception that you are really good at what you do.
Hey Anonymous,
Just like you said Poetry is not just about rhyming.I would also add that its just not about sonnets and ballads.At the end of the day its about how expressively u r able to express urself.We r appreciating the idea and not the technicality of writing here..
would surely wanna read something that u have written..
P.S.:Nothing personal.all kudos for any good writer :))
Firstly I have heard of anonymous opposers, but never came across an anonymous supporter(unless ofcourse it was the author trying to disguise himself :-D )
Anyway, fine, agreed that you are appreciating the idea here.
Now what is your idea btw:
1st para:
The last two lines suggest that you want to become a hippie. Fine. You want to forget the world and lose your house key (which i find unnecessary and stupid though,neways thts personal opinion).
But the second line,brainwashed, ignorants, blindfolded you pity..you pity what? Your object does not concur with the subject here. You clearly are looking for a word to rhyme with city. And you look for everyday colloquial jargon in your mind..you think shitty,titty,pity..BINGO! there you go..so there u end your line with pity.
2nd para: decent enough. Though here too the second line seems unnecessary.
3rd para: This is the most nonsensical and unintelligent verse of a poem i have ever read. First, kindly visit this page http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/doodle?qsrc=2888. I fail to comprehend how can someone doodle a car. And in the next line, you look for a word to rhyme with beard, and you say...anytime you can go or dissapear!!!!! for the love of God, how does this make sense???? Your next line where your loving canine plays frisbee, please let me know how is that even remotely relevant to your being a hippie!!! perhaps because it rhymes with hippie?
4th para: R u kidding me?
Either I m too ill equipped to grasp the deep thoughts embedded in your magnum opus or your poem is just a miserable attempt by a 6th grader.
Trust me I have read genuine stuff, and this nowhere counts as 'writing'. u perhaps need to read some really good and thought provoking books and learn what is writing all about.
And by the way, a couple of your posts were decent enough...but I really want to know those head-in-toes mortals who appreciate your writings...I am wondering if they have ever read a single book in english..because from what i perceive..most of the english they have read is on the street sign boards. and believe me they have done well to keep you blinded from real world...its an earnest request,rather a suggestion to come out of your box and get over your delusions
There's a witch outside my window
and she will not go away.
There's a gremlin on my doorstep
and I think he's there to stay.
There's a troll demanding candy
and a mummy wanting sweets.
There's a ghost, a ghoul, a goblin
and they're clamoring for treats.
And as if that weren't enough
to be considered rather shocking.
A vampire rang my doorbell
and the bogeyman is knocking.
It's the strangest situtation
that I think I've ever seen.
How I wish they'd go away
and just come back on Halloween.
:)
----- Isn't there an uncanny similarity in style between this poem and Vikram's !!! Kudos dude, you can earn thousands too like the author of this poem who's really popular among 5-8 years old kids. That's what the target audience was, right???
hahaha..what an autopsy.i know its not very intellectual stuff.but what i m appreciating is the few lines that i personally liked:
I want to wander from city to city
In the morning get up from someone else's bed
With marijuana inside fears of mine I will shed
Nights will pass away boozing and breaking free
I want to become my life's rockstar
thats why i said 'appreciating the idea'..anyways i think all lesser mortals like me will only get influenced by few striking lines in this poem.
I don’t understand why people ‘whine’
All they keep yapping is ‘poetry n rhyme’
If only I could be ‘fit’
I would say,’Dude open ur eyes n see it’
Hope my aftermath is better ;))
Anonymous2 : Thanks for appreciating the idea dude/dudette. And sincerely appreciate for defending my piece but that made the other person think I am disgusing myself [:P].
Anyway, God bless.
Anonymous1:
1. Awesome, you thought you can rip apart my mind and write how I write. Nice attempt but failed by miles. Poetry is not about rhyming, I agree but it is also not about 'not rhyming'. Poetry to me is a thought which can spark your mind (ignoring the grammar to an extent). Somehow felt that instead of reading you were assessing it.
2. DOODLE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doodle
You seem married to GRAMMAR. I respect that, I am not that yet so somtime (You will say most of the time) I kinda cross the limits. So, thats my thing and its not as disastrous as you are trying to prove.
I want to sketch, paint, color my car and I will doodle my car.
3. I didnt disguise myself, it was someone who probably liked the idea and let his/her mind unfurl in the world of his/her imagination. You seem stiff about conventions.
4. I am replying because you took time to read the stuff. But instead of giving a feedback and ask someone to improve, you were too pushy on criticizing and demotivating me. Shit man, especially your rhymes took away the respect I had for you.
5. I will improve more but at the moment I am happy with 5-8yrs old junta and rhyming poems of mine. They may not be glittering with OXFORD english but are thoughtful enough. Try to look from a different side.
PEACE....
And I also hope it is now clear to you that I have no such misconceptions of considering myself as a 'masterpiece' deliverer but simply a learner. So dont think, I boast about the 'no. of comments' I get anywhere in my life. And, dont be angry about it either.
Thanks once again.
For The comments on 'MOMENT WITH CEO' POSE
Thanks whoever took so much time to go through that post and reply.
Someone already told it was horrible and you just asked me to remove it.
I will improve, dont worry :)
Thanks again
That is indeed a nice reception of your critszm. The whole idea was that there is a lot of scope of improvement. What you call thought provoking and sparking the mind, I found dull and so-not-thought-provoking. Also, to not write a sentence like 'one who always sat' , one need not be married to grammer..only a crush on grammer would suffice. This is something we all are taught in prelimary classes.
Neway,good to know tht you are aware that you still have a long way to go.
And do not remove any post, however horrible it is...let the opinions flow.
Thanks, and whatever is not good doesn't mean to stay here.
Peace
Bring on more, I m now going to follow your blog personally...and as hard as it may sound, I wholeheartedly appreciate what I like and outrightly reject what I dont :-D kudos!
Thanks for following mine from now one, but dont think it seeks your acceptance because every opinion matters not only one.
Also, conceal your arrogance because otherwise it reveals your identity which you dont want to :P
conceal my arrogance!ha!!
You have just given me a reason to jump back in the game baby!!!!
btw...every educated opinion matters
Exactly every educated opinion !
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