Sunday, August 24, 2014

The Headset

Roy’s instincts made him suspicious as he inserted the key into his apartment’s door lock. The 35th floor of the Moscow skyscraper makes him dizzy on a daily basis but this was different. He pulled out his pistol and had it ready in his right hand. A quick sigh and he swung open the entrance door, pushing it inside with his left hand. He rushed inside and turned to his left to aim at the open floor kitchen. The rustling sound from behind the gas hob made Roy duck behind the black leather sofa next to the entrance door. 

His heartbeat and breathing were stable. After all, Roy has been a spy in Moscow for past 5 years collecting intel for a private firm based in Washington. He has trained for handling conflicts on a daily basis. Roy reviewed the floor plan in his mind. The apartment has a open plan layout. There is a large living room that has a kitchen on the left and the bedroom with attached restroom to the right. Roy’s apartment faced the Moscow’s busiest business sector. As a result, he could scan all the skyscrapers comfortably from his place. The living room had a flat screen TV on the wall surrounded by 3 long sofas.  Each sofa could be used as a cover in the time of need. 

Another rustling sound confirmed to Roy that his abode has been breached. He opened his smartphone and used it to alter the glass wall of his apartment from transparent to opaque.Partially lit living room was now completely dark. This should prevent any outside monitoring. Roy then carefully crawled and took cover in front of the kitchen counter. Sensing no movement from the enemy during the same time was confusing to Roy. He suspected whoever it was must be lying flat on the floor behind the gas hob station. He carefully climbed over the kitchen counter and jumped over the gas station. He aimed the gun down and shouted, “Freeze”.

Two  hazel eyes looked at him in the dark and continued to stare. A few seconds later, the cat meowed. Roy let his guard down and took a deep sigh, sitting over the gas hob. His mind was then thinking about the cat. He did not own one. From his surveillance study, none of the other 3 apartments on the same floor had one. It was impossible for a cat to climb over the 35 floors from the fire exit behind the kitchen’s balcony. Regardless, all windows and doors were closed. Someone must have visited him. Who? And, Why? Have the Russians at his Moscow workplace figured it all out?  Do they know that he is not an arms and weaponry consultant but a covert level 3 spy? Roy quickly gathered himself and checked each corner of his apartment without switching on the lights. 

Feeling no imminent danger, Roy pressed the code on his smart phone to switch on the lights. The white painted apartment came to life. Roy had come back to kitchen. The cat had not moved. She was very furry and very black. Sharp eyes of her had Roy’s attention. He put his pistol back in its cover tied to his back and lifted the cat in his hands. The cat showed no fight. Roy inspected her and found no obvious scars, cuts to confirm if she is hiding anything inside her big belly. He walked to the living room and sat on the sofa. Roy carefully kept her in front of him on the glass table. She did not move but continued staring at him. Her lack of reaction puzzled Roy. He was trying to understand the message sent to him.

Roy turned on the television and switched it to the HDMI mode.  He had bugged his own house. He accessed an another application on his smart phone to display the camera recordings on the TV. As he expected, there were no videos for today but just black and white pixels fighting with each other all over the screen. Knowing it is a waste effort, he still called the building staff office to check if they saw anyone entering into his apartment. The obvious answer, “High sky apartment boasts of full security of its residents for last 15 years. We confirm to you that nobody has entered inside your apartment” angered Roy. In his frustration, he threw the TV remote on the glass table almost hitting the cat. It did not react. “What happened to the fucking cat instincts?” Roy thought. 

Leaving the cat behind in living room, Roy went inside his bedroom. He decided to take a shower. A hot shower always improved his ability to read between the lines. Upon entering the bedroom, a gift wrapped box grabbed his attention. “Someone is onto me. That’s clear for sure.” Roy said to himself. He opened the drawer next to his bed to take out a small rectangular black device. It had a groove in which Roy slipped his phone inside with its screen still facing him. A few more keystrokes on the virtual screen and a black and white interface appeared on the phone screen.  It was now a portable X-Ray device. Roy scanned the gift box with it. Nothing suspicious seemed obvious. Roy then decided to open it. He carefully unwrapped the gift paper to reveal a white box. The top of box had “Congratulations” written on it. Roy opened the lid to see what was inside.

A black colour plastic headphone was inside. The surface was extremely smooth and the ear covers were unusually bigger but soft. It was finely made. The two metallic spots identified in the X-Ray were in the centre of each ear cover, holding rest of the cloth like material together. Strangely, there were no buttons on it. Roy realised his cover is blown. They know that he has been recording conversations between Russian defence ministry and its allies. Roy has to now prematurely end the mission and work out on an exit strategy before it is too late. Roy wore the dummy headphone and lay down on the bed. He closed his eyes to concentrate. 

The two metal pieces inside the ear covers of the headphone crumbled. Sudden and loud sounds of wires unwinding had Roy sit up on his bed. He could immediately feel two threads going inside his ears. He screamed in pain and reached his hand to remove the headphone. Before he could, the thread in each ear pierced the nerves inside Roy’s head and became tight. The pain was so excruciating that Roy fell from the bed on the floor. Roy could feel the head phone is pulling the nerves inside his head through his ears.

“What the fuck?” Roy said to himself, feeling enormous pain rising inside his head.

“You made me wait for so long, Mr. Roy!” Roy heard a voice from the headphone followed by intermittent coughing sounds. 

“What the? Who the?” Roy tried to express his anger but was losing his command on himself.

“Relax! It is almost finished.” 

“Son of a…”

“Wow! Congratulations! It is a success.” There was a joy in the voice that came from the other side.

“What is happening?” Roy said in a calm voice, standing up. He looked in the mirror at himself. The black plastic headphone did not match his grey colour suit. Blood was trickling over his right temple from his head. He had hit his head to the table lamp kept on the drawer set. Roy was confused. He could see the blood but felt no instinct to clear it.

“I have now full control over part of your brain that generates your instincts. You are my first human subject that is responding positively to my neural control program.” The man from the other side spoke with pride. Roy was confused beyond his imagination. He tried to concentrate and he could. He walked out to the living room and he could. 

“What kind of joke is this? I can control my brain.” Roy shouted. 

“I did not say that I have control over your full brain. I am still working on that project.”  The voice kept its calm.

“Don’t bullshit me.” Roy responded.

“Another arrogant American spy. Let me demonstrate it to you.” Hearing his voice Roy started looking around the living room, suspecting sudden attack. He had his right hand on his gun again.

“Take out your smart phone and open the application you use to control your apartment’s utilities.” The man instructed from the other side. Roy being curious did the same.

“My device tells me you have just done as I instructed. Now, alter the glass walls back to transparent from opaque.”  

“What? Why? I am not stupid. I will not do that.” Roy reacted.

“I am sorry. I am telling you to alter them and what are you saying?” The main spoke with authority.

“I will…” Before Roy could express his disagreement, he entered the required code and the glass walls were transparent again. Roy could not believe himself. His face turned expressionless as he stared towards the skyscrapers in front of them. Almost all of them were dark because it was midnight. Only a few were still alight. One of them was directly opposite to Roy’s apartment. Roy could see someone inside it was starting at him.

“Do you now understand, subject?” The man asked Roy. Roy did not respond.

“Let me dumb it down for you. Do you see the cat still sitting on your glass table?” Roy turned around to see the cat. It was still sitting at the same place where Roy left her. From the man’s voice, Roy understood that he could now see inside Roy’s apartment without any issue.

“Yes.” Roy responded.

“Kill it.” The man said.

“What? I .” Bang! Roy aimed and shot at the cat. The bullet from his pistol pierced through the middle of cat’s forehead. 

Roy shivered with fear. He dropped the gun and retreated to the corner of the apartment, wrapping his hands around his torso. His face was now showing signs of fear. The heartbeat and breathing were rising.

“Mr. American Spy, I control your instincts. When we sense (see/hear/feel/dread) something, our brain triggers an immediate action for our body and we act accordingly. In your case, I could either let your brain send a normal response or I could alter it to my wish. In layman terms, I decide your instincts.” The words transformed the fear inside Roy to terror. 

“What do  you want from me?” Roy said in a shivering tone.

“Nothing! You are just my subject for few experiments.” The man replied. Roy did not know what to say. 

“You see Mr. Roy; We knew that you were a spy from day one. We also knew that you are on an undercover mission. What it means is your government will not take responsibility for you. They will not confess that you work for them. Therefore, we can do anything with you. Since you are an American, the Russian humanitarians will not make much fuss even if anyone finds out. Concisely, no one will ask about you if you die during my experiments.” Roy listened to his statements while trying to figure out a plan. 

“So, Mr. American spy! Are you ready to play?” The voice turned into devious laughter. Roy trembled with fear.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Mental notes

It has been a while. No! It has been ages since I last blogged. There are not many reasons but one i.e. Life. It has grown to be more hectic, less interactive, and is running towards something I don't know what it is. Hopefully, it will get clearer with time.

Few mental notes for myself and if anyone else wants to read

1. Delhi is NOT a city of rapists. It probably is a city of rapes. Stay safe!                                       

2. Knowing how to honk does not mean you can drive. But, I failed to make my neighbour understand. He said, "What do you mean do not honk? It is a big fat SUV. When I honk, the road better be clear."

3. Always keep your mobile phone and keep it charged. Nowadays, people don't lend their phones for a quick call even when you offer ten times the potential call charges.

4. Jet Airways is going bankrupt. No drinks served with dinners. You need to request even for a fizz-less diet coke.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Impressions - "Noone killed Jessica"

In a shocking turn of events, record-keepers re-opened their history books, tore the existing pages, and attached a couple of new ones. After watching Raj Kumar Gupta’s, No one killed Jessica, Supreme Court is reconsidering its decision of life imprisonment for Manu Sharma. The justice in-charge accepted that the movie has tarnished his image of Jessica. His sympathy has subsidized to considerable levels after watching the ill-treatment against Manu Sharma in the bar as shown in the movie.

“The guy was literally pleading for some more Alcohol. It was illegal on Jessica’s behalf to serve drinks to her friends and deny everyone else under the roof of law (read BAR CLOSED). If the bar is closed then it must for everyone without any special favors. I agree Manu was misbehaving but the discrimination against him fueled his rage and not anything else. On one hand you flood Margaritas, whiskies, etc to your confidants and on the other, you deny a shot to a civilian. That’s a crime by itself and contempt of court who made such laws,” said Mr. Jethmalani after coming out from the first day last show. He is also planning to sue the pathetic actor for such a poor and pathetic impersonation of the legendary liar oops lawyer.

“It is all Gandhiji’s fault,” Ramalingam, a movie watcher, told us after we asked him so who killed Jessica?

“What?” Yes, we had the same reaction.

“Gandhiji’s theories have always led to disastrous results. First, Pakistan, then Congress, and now Jessica’s murder,’ replied Ramalingam. On asking how so, he refused to explain and hinted that a common-man needs no explanation of a simple logic. Our camera captured a “Godse” tattoo on his back as he left.

“I didn’t know he was innocent. I mean the chap only meant to scare her. Her constant rebuttal instigated him at the first place. According to the movie, Manu wanted to shoot in air. That was a big shocker to me. It all now looks like an accident to me. Poor children,” said Mrs. D’souza who feels confused about the whole incident after watching the movie.

“It was black (Manu) and white (Jessica) for me, but now it is all grey. Portrayal of Jessica’s character is slightly shady. I wonder if it was meant for the masala in the movie or if it was for real,” said Lavyna, a Delhi University college student, after watching the movie. She has been suffering a mental breakdown since she saw the movie. The villain and hero in her canvas seem to exchange places. Should we call it the power of cinema or the greed of corporate world to reap benefits from anything and everything?

I expected the movie to be a real revelation of the chain of events or to be a message for the viewers to understand the importance of life. However, this piece of c***ma delivers conflicting, twisting, and depressing messages. Undoubtedly, the movie raises questions on Jessica’s image and challenges the detestation against Manu, which is mind boggling (in a bad sense) for me. I feel cheated but I fail to decide by whom? What was the purpose of the movie? Tell me, what shall I assume?

Latest News: WWF has decided to launch a campaign against the film and its crew, some Rani M in particular, for repeatedly using a species' identity and thier name for derogatory purposes. The bitches felt offended after it.

Pamela Patwardhan
Correspondent
Fake News

Monday, December 27, 2010

Who?

It was dark and the roads were empty. Well, what do you expect at 2am? Sheila thought. Usually, her shift used to finish by midnight, and she was in her bed by 1am. However, today it was different. She had to stay back until 1am. The pickup Van left on schedule with the remaining employees. It will drop them home first before returning for Sheila. It will be morning by the time the van returns, Sheila thought and cursed while standing below the company office. The guard was staring at her constantly. She noticed his behavior but decided to ignore it. Her mind was more busy thinking about the late night repeat of Balika Bahu she was going to miss.

She remembered Rohit once gave her a taxi number. She searched through lipsticks, DTC pass, company ID, some cash, hairpin, etc to find that crushed piece of paper in her basket size purse. Finally, she did succeed.

“Hello!” A hoarse and probably drunk voice came from the other side.

“Hi! Is this radio taxi?” She gently asked.

“No, it is your @#!@$.” A reply came. Sheila immediately hung up. Her eyes moistened and anger soared inside her. What is wrong with the world? She cursed the lord. The security guard continued staring at her. She walked toward him. The 40 years old, Ram Prasad became a bit uncomfortable. His eyes were suddenly confused about where to look. Sheila wiped her tears, dialed the same number again, and gave the phone to Ram Prasad. Confused and dazed, he did not know what to do. He took and raised it to his ear.

“It is ringing.” He said to her.

“Good! I want you to scold the recipient for misbehaving with me.” She shouted. Ram was perplexed.

“Are you out of your mind? Why the fuck I should take trouble for you?” He furiously shouted after disconnecting the cellphone.

“Why the fuck you were ogling at me if you don’t even have the balls to take a phone call for me?” She retaliated in equal anger. Ram Prasad felt his manhood challenged. He immediately lunged towards her and slapped her hard. Sheila did not cry but smiled. Her cheek was cherry red.

“Yes, that’s suits you more.” Sheila said and went back to the reception where she earlier stood. After an hour, the company Van came. She never dialed a taxi number after that night. Ram Prasad never looked at her again.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

A bad world

This world is not a good place
It saddens me when I feel fine
It questions my unclear mind
This world is leaving me behind

I grew up dreaming day and night
Life was supposed to be a lucky ride
But, the mirage cleared with time
As this world started leaving me behind

My ideas of doing things went sore
I found myself in repetitive chores
What happened to the wild?
Am I being fooled or kept aside?

It should not have been this way
Something must have gone astray
Because I am lonely and staying inside
For what reasons am I being ostracized?

I walked into this bar filled with people
I saw everyone restrained and quiet
In hindsight, I thought about their lives
Everyone seemed in some sort of strife

This world is not a good place
It saddens us when we feel fine
It confuses our unclear mind
This world leaves us behind

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Is that so?

Today afternoon, I was having my lunch in Subway with my friend. Yeah, lunch in Subway! The simple reason behind it is our exceptional knowledge of how not to cook. Our frequency of visit to that joint is so high that all three crews (day, noon, and night) know us by name, face, height, and our meals.

Anyway, that is not what I want to write about. In the middle of the food court, young school kids were delivering various performances (singing, dancing, etc). Being their spectator a random thought surfaced in my mind. Now, I am not sure about the contemporary world but when I was a kid (read 10yrs), I was not supposed to dance and sing. The simple reason behind it was my caste. Early morning, I read from Shane Warne’s tweet that an Aussie woman did a boat trip around the world. Aussies are already in the finals for both men & women T20. We are a billion but ironically lacking similar or probably far greater achievements than these.

When our earlier generations existed and caste system was in full form, I am assuming that adherence to caste and its specific domains, was strictly compulsory. Therefore, probably, even when a proprietor’s son had an exceptional voice he could not become a singer because he was not supposed to. The banjaras should sing and dance. The son of a cobbler might have been interested in archery but he ended up stitching the shoes. Similarly, the farmer did not feel education is necessary for his daughter when she might have had a very high IQ.

In the current times, having a decent education and securing a job with guaranteed monthly salary looks more appropriate to parents than any other path. They mold his/her mentality to perceive the world in a similar way. And, they do it so because they were brought up the same way. What to be and what not to be.

Therefore, I wonder if these restrictions and mentalities have restrained us, Indians, from excelling in ever field. Are these the reasons of being a billion but still not being paramount in every domain? Do we beget a grudge inside us because of these reasons? The grudge that all of us father inside. The resentment against society, which we often discourse about but later, let it vaporize. Does it really die or attempts to take you over when you see someone leading that you might have ruled.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

My fate

Today is yesterday and will be tomorrow
Another night of agony and a day of sorrow
I see you smiling, sleeping, my newborn child
Will you stay? Or, like others fly away?

My heart wrenches and eyes cry
When you are ashamed of being mine
I don’t understand what wrong did I do
After growing young, why away you flew

I try my best to give them a good life
But they continue to leave me behind
Part by part, I am drowned in blood
When sisters are raped and brothers are cut

I sob in silence as none reckons my pain
My efforts to please and bond end up in vain
Day by day, a part of me goes cold
Seeing my own drift away to dark roads


Monday, September 7, 2009

Confusion, Chaos and Hetereogeneity

Finished watching YMI (Yeh mera India), most of you must be wondering which movie is that? Well it is neither super budget nor contains item song of Rakhi Sawant or larger than life superstars. I wonder if you know but every Indian outside India will be aware of every movie released, even of the Z grade. Is it the power of Internet outside or separation from motherland? Actually it’s none but the loneliness which majority of aliens experience in a foreign country but just cannot accept it and can neither say it to people back home because they will never believe/accept it. America is lonely? Europe is boring? What a loser if I reach there I will become next Obama. And I will do every other no every woman of theirs. Typical response of ours since sixteen or more

A study indicates India will be the only nation in the whole planet/universe to produce 2 billion people that too by 2050. Oh yeah China’s population will start decreasing after reaching 1.4 billion and America will never hit a billion so don’t worry not even slightest of a competition. Just imagine 2 billion Indians in India, what a chaos, and mayhem we are approaching. Accept it or not we aren’t really that attached to each other race, like Russell Peter says everyone thinks ‘Wish I was the only one’ but yet never stopped producing a bunch minimum. Only thing I liked about Gandhi was his statement ‘Videshi chodo aur desi apano’ but people remembered everything except it. Industries/Companies based in India conceals foreign name to sell their stuff and people only buy the shit thinking its foreign ka maal. I mean how many desi famous restaurants, clothes brand, laptops, and appliances making industries or anything specifically catering to Indians we have.

Is it the westernization, terrorism, population imbalance, illiteracy, multi ethnicity or a lack of brains that confuses and prevents each one of us to develop at least a single common, unique in world trait which we can harness and use to tie each of us together so that together we excel and develop? More than a billion we are, not a team for every sport we have. Every parent wants their kid to be only an engineer or doctor. Sex has been haunting us since our evolution and still it does; almost every teenager to college students is worried about it throughout the time when they can really learn and become better than what they are. Bollywood is busy making movies which leave its viewers to frustrate for not having a life like Emran hasmi. Cinema/Television is something which reaches even to the illiterates but f*** who cares about society, all we want is to make money and soaring TRPs. Rakhi Sawant ka Swaymar featured some twelve ‘most eligible’ bachelors of India to win her heart and everyone was watching it (not to mention me too). I don’t know who to blame. Is it us or them? I really wonder if Ekta Kapoor gives a sarcastic smile after telecast of her every show. On a inter-caste marriage, society f***s the shit out of families but when it comes to Ekta’s protagonist sleeping with more than one man, men having illicit affairs we cry, sob on their helpless conditions.

Caste system/Reservations are not yet dead and now “stateism” has begun as well. Men and women still not equal. Religion continues to be a weapon for narrow minded people to achieve their ambitions and fool common man, politicians still charmless, bollywood still missing Oscar, illiteracy withholding people from creativity, sex starvation growing, and industries/employment for, from and to the people still absent. Above all and most importantly, we still continue to stay ugly, unfit, style less, educated yet uncreative and mocking each other’s caste, religion, languages and difference and a BILLION more coming. Are we ready to fight and figure it out or flee?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Time Machine

At times in life, I wish if there is one
In which I can sit and travel through time
See what I did, am doing and should be done
And write my life line by line

I will travel back and live those college days
When I flew without wings, chirped with friends
Gift her chocolates instead of LAYS
Enjoyed without bothering about economic trends

Rush in future and see what happens in 2010
See if the cards I am playing will work or not
Will I be broke or filthy rich by then
Did I fail or scored with every shot?

But then I will have an answer to everything
Killing the mystery, anticipation and associated fun
I guess it’s good if there is no such thing
Else I wouldn’t have written this poem

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Net-o-phobia

It sucks! My office space (god knows why) is just not connecting to LAN/WIRELESS and even the so called Iphone’s 3G network coverage has missed it as well. And damn, I am feeling so miserable of what to do, where to go and how to survive. Thought of being internet-less for the whole day was freaking me out.

Living without Gtalk’s ‘tuungg’ sound, YouTube’s videos, Orkut, Facebook, Outlook mails, Phulki.com (for Hindi songs), and ofcourse Google amidst work generated so much agitation, I almost knocked down colleague’s laptop from her table. Hell yeah! I wanted that functioning LAN cord to calm my nerves. And it feels so good now; blogspot.com in black, ‘you could be happy’ on YouTube and chat windows of friends which has literally brought me back from the doors of insanity.

Don’t believe me! Try disabling your wireless, unplug your LAN cables and switch off your smart phones. If you still survive, something is wrong with you.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My first crime

On a wintry and foggy Delhi day, got up at 7am to tape her mouth and wrap in ropes. ‘You should not do it son.’ Helpless father of mine, pleaded but a monster was inside me, of practicality, of needs and desires. Without switching on the fog lights or any other lights, sneaked out my Maruti 800 from garage to park it, kissing my main door. ‘Son please, think once again, after all….’ Before he could continue, I banged car doors, loud enough to scare away the garland boy on cycle. ‘He deserves hell’, he must have said on seeing me ruthlessly stuffing her on the backseat. Minutes later, I was on the Delhi roads where everyone seem to drive, as if they are driving for the last time or if Katrina is on the other side, waiting for them n***d.

A Sakoda honking from behind, Swift took blunt right, rickshaw coming straight and an auto almost touching on left, enjoying ‘tujhe mein rab dikhta hain yaara mein kya karu’ from my car’s stereo, looking at me. My cousin, an accomplice on the left seat trying permutations and combinations of four words, love, kiss, miss and you with you allowed to repeat as many times as it can; to SMS a new SMS to his GF. Inside the auto, sat a few females with laptops disgusted on seeing the harassed sitting behind me. Soon traffic signal one km away turned green, I focused on the road. Finally surviving all the Dhoom’s and Schumacher clan people, I reached the exchange point, parking my car in nearby vicinity among others.

While walking up to the convicts, flashbacks of happy time flashed. She was so young, smoothest surface and sharp features but six years back. Believer of Darwin’s theory I realized, since there is someone slimmer, trendier and beautiful in my life, its time to bid adieu with the ex. But it wasn’t so easy, the first **** movie, weird places we visited and all those promises I made on her, kept clogging my mind. But I was conscienceless just like people in NCRs who treat rape victims like lost election candidates, ‘Ah she also lost, sad’. Apart from being conscienceless I was also driven by gluttony, just like DP who swears to be with you and for you but only to loot you, and degrade you making you bribe them. Isn’t it making a convention? OH A COP, JUST BRIBE HIM.

‘She seems worn out, how much you want.’ The potbelly with more hair in his nose than head, stripping her cover shouted out loud. His subordinates dealing with buyers asking for their preferences ‘local or international, young or old, virgin or secondhand and for how many weeks or forever’. Shamelessly, they striped her naked to examine every asset on and inside. Like inactive and aloof citizens, I watched it all but never uttered a word, not a single word.

‘Bolo Sir, kitna, aap batao? Aapka maal hain?’ Putting his dirty and greased hands over her body, he grinned. But I was a novice in the market.

‘How much you generally take?’ Words dried inside but I somehow asked.

‘Your bitch, you say.’

‘Still’ after haggling for a while, for my old desktop machine a price was decided. I sold my baby, my first machine bought during school to those Nehru Place butchers, who will probably rip it apart and sell its parts just like organs of poor are sold. Clinching Gandhi in hand, I came out of the complex to find my CAR gone.

‘Dude where’s my car?’ I asked a security guard in blue.
‘DP took it.’ He grinned, they also wanted their share.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye!

"Tu Raja ki raj dulari, mein sirf langote alla su,
Bhaang ragad kar piya karu, mein Kundi sautte alla su."

With my lips already stretched to their maximum, after listening these lines while the contessa swooped in the frame and giggling school girls came out, by god touch ho gaya mein. Itna touch ki I am writing a blog on Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye!

Kicking off with a TV anchor glorifying a thief using words which if ever India became like America, will surely be the most difficult words for Hindi GRE (Biwi ne pucha khaana kaisa bana, mein bola SANSANIKHEJ) already had my mind racing, trying to guess the story. Following scenes of Delhi Police announcing the recovery and Mr. thief relaxing inside the police station among the policemen; asking them for black shirt (black mein smart dikhta hu sirji) reflected the attitude of the main character that even a James Bond can seldom reflect.

The first twenty minutes of the film showing the young lucky; cool as ice, confident like rock and eyes with innocent dreams. Dreams of giving a greeting card, riding a bike/scooter with someone behind (not the auntiji which his dad brought) and dreams of living life kingsize. Equation with his dad, kind of friends and hotel waiter made the boy walk the way which isn't considered well. However, honest reasons behind the illegal activities kinda shifts the support towards the thief.

All Ocean's 11, 12, 13 ,..... ek taraf apna Lucky ek taraf. Sonal, the cute college girl is fantastic in her short cute role however her mummy steals the show, karare karare banane waale lete aana beta. Paresh Rawal, is one of the best actors bollywood has ever got delievering super performances of Dad with Lucky's aunty, GOGI bhai and the greedy doctor;in a way shortage of budget worked well in favor of movie because half the time everyone assumes GOGI is his dad until the doctor Handa and his wife Archana Puran Singh enters with their kid to rope in innocent superchor to use for their pursuits.

The escapes from the law's clasps were not just funny but also exposed the truth of Delhi ki police, be it the bribing or getting washing machine from the thief in the deal of passing him relevant information. Then the waitress being naughty for selling the platinum card, GOGI gifting TVs to MP's son, Handa opening hotel, Cops asking home appliances and brother money to go Hong Kong really shows how we succumb to our desires; and instead of preventing someone from walking the wrong way we encourage them to take a step more just to get what we want from them.

Finally coming to the performances, Abhay Deol is a Deol with difference, Sonal is soni kudi, Paresh Rawal, no words for him, young lucky sardar is the show stopper and DOLLY IS OFCOURSE HOOOOTtt!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hippie

I want to wander from city to city
Brainwashed, Ignorants, Blindfolded I pity
Forgetting the world, I want to lose my house key
Oh yes I wish to become a Hippie

In the morning get up from someone else's bed
With marijuana inside fears of mine I will shed
Nights will pass away boozing and breaking free
If someday I become a Hippie

I doodle my car, grow my beard
Anywhere anytime I can go or disappear
Stoned me and my dog will play frisbee
Once I become a Hippie

With Variegated clothes and my guitar
I want to become my life's rockstar
On seeing me people will get on their knees
If I ever become a Hippie

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Alco(h)ol

Alcohol kills has been fed to my brain through my ears and eyes all through my life by everyone who came before me in this world. Accordingly, I have been condemning people who spend half of their lives figuring out whether the glass in their hand is half empty or half full. It always complicated things, I remember how my super thin friend went up to his ex’s house and punched her new boxer boyfriend and spent his next month entirely on the bed of a local hospital. How can my uncle tip his 6 digit salary to an auto rickshaw driver for a 50Rs trip to a liquor place? High, wasted, drowned, puked such words contracted my eyes but not today. Those who have slept on the road wearing a Lee t-shirt, blue jeans and converse shoes or something similar will understand what I want to convey. For others reading, well mate you are very much missing the purpose of being young.

Yes, I drank for the first time and thanks to this god damn world I won’t be drinking for the last time. I am neither a regular nor an irregular one. But with alcohol taking control over me I am able to realize the godly power the rusted metal color liquid possesses. For the first time, I see people, things, buildings, cars trembling, floundering in front of me while at all other seconds of my life it was the other way around. Eyes almost closed but ajar enough to see the world altogether from a different angle. An angle from where you can be transparent, your inside breaks free from your crooked mind and comes out despite of all your efforts to suppress. Only in two situations one becomes honest a) God/Satan standing in front of you or b) when alcohol goes down your throat.

Irrespective of the black hole you being sucked into if the drops of the stinking ambrosia reach inside your system it momentarily gives you an illusion of the world you wanted to be in fulfilling your last wish in much advance.

Coffee Machine

First few hours of first day went in familiarizing
Expectations of the management were already rising
Boss told he wants results, profits and capital
By Good, bad, ugly or by getting physical

Finally someone asked for a break
Thanks to his wife, even boss accepted to take
Lethargically, I ambulated from here and there
Finally stopped at the coffee machine near the stairs

Espresso, premium, decaf which one, I forgot
How, till when, will I were the only thoughts
My boss came, pressed buttons and gave me a smirk
He said to get paid like the machine I should work

I stood, thinking gazed at the machine
Should I become a pet in his regime?
Suddenly someone transferred it to a take away truck
On the wall behind it was written, run away or get fucked